Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Things I Learned Last Week: People Think I Can Stop a Moving Bus. With My Stomach.

Welcome to  another addition of Pregnancy Opinions with Charlie Nixonsleeve!!!

This weeks Opinions are just an extension of last weeks, because I cannot help the fact people continue to say absurd things to be whilst I am with child.

So last Friday I was walking out of work to my car. As I was crossing the street a bus pulled up at the light next to me. I knew the bus would stop (as the light was already red), so I stepped out and started walking. I was just minding my merry business when I hear a voice behind me. It's a man (Really guys? REALLY? Unless you're offering to carry me to my car just keep it movin'). So he says, "Wow! I hope that bus stops!" Pleasant enough. Harmless enough. So I say, "Haha! I know right!!" and then he says, "Well actually it's good that you're closer to the bus because you would be able to stop it a little, being, you know...." And gestures TO MY STOMACH! No sir, I don't know. Please clarify. Do you and your friendskis sit around making jokes about preggo ladies getting hit by buses? Nice. And wait-- getting hit by buses to stop said bus from hitting you?! Was he implying that because I'm big and pregnant I could stop a moving bus a la Superman?!?! YES!  (For all the skeptics out there. I am tots not overreacting. This is TOTALLY what he meant. Trust.) I turned around and I just looked at him with a shocked look on my face and said "Oh noooo!!!!" (I admit- that wasn't my finest work in the reaction department, but I honestly had no idea what to say. I mean it had a little ghetto flair which was effective. It could have easily transformed itself into a nice "Oh noooo you did-intttttttt!" had I been more prepared.)

I could tell he felt bad for what he said so he just looks down at the ground and totally reverts back to being like 12  years old after his mom scolded him for playing too much Duck Hunt. "Sorrrryyyyyyyy. I just..." I mean it was so weird. It was so weird to be having such an odd conversation with a stranger when all I wanted to do was get home to watch The Holiday, and eat my body weight in slice-n-bake cookies. He tried to make up for it with some more banter, but the damage was done. He had altered the course of history forever. He had solidified a place on A Tale of Two Sisters, for the rest of eternity.

In seems to me that when some people see a pregnant woman, they aren't totally sure how to react. Similar to a wild animal charging them. "What do I do? Do I run? Do I fight back? Do I try to throw treats at it to appease it? [editors note: throwing Pringles, Chick-Fil-A and/or cupcakes at me would have changed everything...]  Do I make awkward comments on it's weight and ability to stop two ton vehicles? Yes I think the ladder is my best choice. Good thinking brain!"

No brain, not good thinking.


p.s. I will get baby room pics up later today! I am off to my doc appointment where they give me that glucose test. Hurrah!

1 comment:

Lulu said...

if ONLY he had some chick-fil-A to exchange for that terrible joke

when will men learn to NEVER speak to pregnant women they don't know

PS--now that I can picture that story in my mind, I'd like to formally request that you never walk out in front of a moving bus!!! They are famous in DC for missing the red lights, clipping corners and running people over!!

k. thanks.