Maybe I don't have the fondest feelings toward Halloween because people have never really bought what I was selling in the ole' costume department. When I was in 3rd or 4th grade I dressed up as....A CARROT. I remember my mom making the costume out of orange and green felt. ORANGE FELT FOR DAYS!! I was basically an orange triangle with a green stem. And I was proud. Mama Nixonsleeve was proud. But much to our dismay, no one seemed to get it. I remember knocking on one lady's door and she said, "Awww, what are you supposed to be? A deformed pumpkin?" Ummm excuse me madame, I most certainly am NOT a deformed pumpkin. I happen to be one of the most delicious and crisp root vegetables in all the land, athankyou.
Fast forward to 8th grade when a friend and I dressed up as cats. I will admit, it was a sub par effort on our part. We wore all black, threw on some ears, painted on a pink nose, whiskers and called it a night. BUT at least we were dressed up! My friend Katie and I went trick-or-treating in her neighborhood (some houses gave out FULL SIZE candy bars. Score!), and everything was going swimmingly until we hit one of the last houses. We knocked, a woman opened the door, "Trick or Treat!!", we said. She smiled, looked at us and said, "Aren't you alittle OLD to be trick-or-treating?" We were crushed. Yet flattered. I remember simultaneously thinking, "I'm only in eighth grade!! But I need to hang out with this lady more often because she obvi knows I'm going places." We told her how old we were and she says, "Well looks like this will be your last year then, huh?!" WOAH, OK PUSHY McPUSHERSON. WE GET IT. We are past our prime. Our trick-or-treating biological clock has expired. JUST HAND OVER THE FULL SIZE REECE'S CUPS AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
(Wow. Sounds like someone is riding the Bitter Bus that they are preggers this Halloween season..............) But seriously. Let's take a look at some of my options:
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| Anything that suggests wearing white pumps= no. |
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| I'm pretty sure this would make me the least appealing Geisha on the block. Although the socks are a plus. |
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| Oh please. I would never insult Lady Liberty like that! |
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| She's trying to cover feeling like a loser with a big smile. I applaud her. (P.S. That bun looks super questionable) |
I'm also annoyed by the people who try to rep Halloween like it's a real holiday. I mean it is in that it's nationally recognized...but it's not. Because when you're competing with holidays like Christmas (the Supreme Holiday in my opinion) and Easter, trying to justify the day people dress like fools and tools is just sort of redic. I sound so negative BUT ALAS, here are three things I LIKE about All Hallows Eve...
1. Kids dressed up.
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| Ummm...amazing. Next question. |
Pottery Barn could possibly turn around this whole, "Halloween is for the birds" thing I have going on. They have the best, most sophisticated, Halloween decorations around.
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3. Candy!!!
This is pretty much an open and shut case. Everyone whose anyone likes candy.
I hope I don't sound too blah about Halloween. Truth be told it's probably because the thought of getting up every time a little one knocks on my door is just too much for my old pregnant bones to handle. (Joel you have door duty. Kisses!) However there are some Pros. And despite the strong emotions Halloween conjures up in me, I do hope everyone has a fun and safe holiday!!
If you need me you can find me at home. I'll be going as the-uncomfortable-pregnant-woman-who-refuses-to-change-out-of-her-bathrobe-even-though-it's-4 o'clock-in-the-afternoon. Cheers!
Have fun & be safe! :)
-Charlie
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